Last week one of my students came to me and said,
“I am trying very hard to be perfect! How can I be perfect?”
Is this not something that we all strive for? I know that as children we wanted perfect grades, a perfectly clean room or to do our chores perfectly. We wanted to be the perfect friend. Then, of course, everything becomes more exaggerated as we get older. As the awareness of our bodies builds and we become physically attracted to others, we strive so hard to have the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect hair and especially the most perfect and cool behavior!
Imagine all the money that is made in the world because we are all trying to be so perfect!!! How much money have you personally spent, making sure that you were pretty or handsome, that your hair was perfectly coiffed, you smelled nice and your clothes were the latest, greatest, sexiest fashion!
So, first we can ask, “Why on earth are we really all trying to be so perfect?”
We want to be perfect so that we will be LOVED AND ACCEPTED!
This is the real desire, to be loved and accepted. We want friends, we want mates, we want to be hired for jobs, invited to parties, we even want to people to smile at us!
Secondly, we can ask, “What is perfect?”
Is perfection truly in the eyes of the beholder? Or is there a way that every human can unanimously choose the definition of what is perfect for everything and every situation? Perhaps there are some that might say this is possible, but my observations tell me that everyone is so different, leading to different choices about the perception of perfection.
With these two realizations, we can begin to shift our focus and goals. Instead of trying to be perfect, we can focus on the desire of being loved and accepted. Next, we can stop looking outside of ourselves for love and acceptance and work towards loving and accepting ourselves. Easier said than done? Yes – but it can be done! While you are working on loving and accepting yourself, you can also send that energy out into the world, loving and accepting others and being the response in the world that everyone is seeking. The same practice will help you learn to love and accept yourself.
We can also ask ourselves what perfection is, for us as an individual. We can certainly change the direction, focus and outcome of our day to day lives, by re-establishing what it is we are truly striving for. Working towards total acceptance will begin to change the way you view your life. Working towards opening your heart to yourself and others will begin to change your life.
I absolutely love and accept YOU!