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It is tricky, because there is a difference between feeling shut down or desperate, and communicating from those feelings and in making a conscious choice of communicating what you wish you were feeling. When I was a store owner in San Francisco, I made friends with fellow store owners nearby. I would often walk into the store of one of my good friends and ask him how he was doing, and he would launch into an almost comical tirade of negativity!
“Oh! Business is soooo bad! I’ve got vendors calling me and my bills are overdue. It is so terrible.”
He almost seemed to be energized by his negativity. As his friend, I did want to let him know how he sounded to me and his customers. I said, “Why don’t you just say, “Things are great!” He insisted that lying was not okay and he was not comfortable with telling lies.
My other good friend owned a large furniture store. When I would go to visit him, I would walk in the store and ask him how he was doing. He would exclaim,
“Business is great! It couldn’t be better! We are doing fantastic!”
He would say this when there were no customers in the store or even on the street. I always loved to be around his infectious positivity! I believed that finding the positive in any situation or circumstance was always a better choice. But, yes, sometimes it felt like a ‘fake it til you make it’ situation! Try turning your responses towards the positive and see what happens!
I love you dearly, wonderfully and clearly!